My first thought on writing this post is: Where to begin??? There are many components to a Cambodian family, just as there are with any family. But how to best capture them all in their appropriate light? Now that's a tough one. As with any family, not everything is as it seems, and I know that I cannot possibly capture everything, especially in a blog post. So bear with me as I attempt explain one family that I have come to know already in my brief time here.
For their privacy's sake, I'll be calling my family the Neakru family. Why is that, you ask? Because both parents are teachers, and in Khmer, teacher is neakru (well, at least a female teacher because Khmer is a language that distinguishes between genders for a number of things. And in case you'd like to know, neakru is pronouced "knee-a-cru"). The host father I don't see very often. He goes to work in the morning, comes home for lunch in the middle of the day, and then has dinner at home. Otherwise, I don't really see him much in the household picture at all. The main manager of the house is then Mother Neakru. She oversees three boys all under the age of 12 and one helper/maid. Our household maid lives with us, takes care of much of the cooking (though Mother Neakru still contributes to most dishes), cleans some of the house (again because Neakru also does her part), and makes sure the boys have what they need when they need it. She opens the gate when they get home from school, and sets up their meals at dinner time.
But that brings me to another important aspect of the family dynamics: the house. Our house doesn't look like much from the street; just a silver-painted gate. However, once you enter through the gate the rest of the house opens up as well. You first come to what we'd consider the garage. The car is parked there, which is especially important since the street is small but busy so there would be no place for it out there, and the outside shoes are left there as well. You pass the car and come to the front door, and it's time to take off your grimy outside shoes. Once you do, it's into the foyer and living area. It seems huge with a ceiling that stretches up through the second floor, and it appears even grander because of the beautifully carved ornate furniture lining the perimeter of the room. Most of the family time is spent here watching tv, having dinner, talking to visiting guests, or watching me try to learn Khmer from Neakru. Now it's time to find the small hallway on the right side of the back wall. That will take you to my room on the left, then the bathroom, then the kitchen and stairs to the upstairs bedroom and bathroom.
A word about bathrooms (don't worry, I'm not going into any vivid details here, so feel free to keep reading): they're used very often in a Khmer household. Why? Because the heat makes taking more than one or even two showers a day, even quick ones, a fabulous necessity. As someone who grew up on the east coast and has lived for a couple years in Colorado, I have become much more sensitive to humidity changes. For example, on any given day in Colorado Springs, the humidity hovers between 20-40%, which is pretty darn dry if you ask any non-residents. On the east coast, that changes to 60-80%, which is humid but bearable on most days. But in Phnom Penh, the humidity level at this time of year is between 80 and 90%. Yikes! For anyone that means there's a lot of sweat involved in your day whether you like it or not, which in turn means that multiple showers translates to basic hygiene. Perhaps some would still call this excessive, but I'd like to think that after walking to and from class, which is about a 10 minute walk each way, I deserve that cold shower.
Ah classes. They're the reason I'm here! We had our first class today, and we learned to say some basic phrases of conversation to get us through introductions and getting to know where someone is from. I decided to try some of my new knowledge out this afternoon, and my host brothers just smiled. I hadn't violated any unwritten laws, but I had taken a step towards taking them away from their shyness. I guess that will come in more good time. But for now, it's off to the books for me. These Khmer characters won't trace themselves!
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